I’m crawling out from under the haze of recent events, emotions, and activities and dusting off my keyboard this week. Assuming that you are reading this because at one point you signed up to be subject to the thoughts in my head, I thought it would be ok to share some recent life updates and reflections.
I’ll start by saying that yesterday was our first Halloween in 20 years without a kid at home. Which, if we’re being honest, hasn’t meant a whole lot in the last couple of years anyway. Because the thing about teens is that they want to hang out with their friends on Halloween instead of handing out candy with us. It’s the circle of life.
So this week I did what I always do and let Facebook punch me in the gut just a little every morning with its thoughtful “memories” feature. Every morning I’ve been reminded of days gone by with pictures from Halloweens past.
To tell you the truth, it actually makes me smile. I’m smiling over the fact that I no longer have to do anything on Halloween if I don’t want to. It’s by far my least favorite of all the holidays, and I feel I’ve earned the right to quietly tap out. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy participating in the ultimate dress-up-day with my girls every year.
My all time favorite costume combo. That little mouse was practically edible, toddling all over the neighborhood clutching her pumpkin bucket. And Cinderella was SO jazzed for trick-or-treating. But you might notice, her shoes gave her some problems (life imitates art).
Three sizes too big, they were intended for indoor make-believe play, not traipsing about through cul-de-sacs and across dozens of front lawns. We stopped every ten seconds for her to put her shoes back on, which she inevitably walked right out of time and again.
Still, I hold these memories so dearly. The innocence of childhood and pure joy that comes from watching children experience regular kid life was enough to sustain me the rest of my days. What a delight and honor it is to be their mom.
By the way, that feeling never leaves, no matter how old kids get.
As for the early months of our empty nest life, I’m here to report that it’s been quite adventurous so far! Our girls are attending college at different schools 1,065 miles apart from each other. We, however, essentially live right in the middle and have the blessed privilege of being able to visit them whenever the opportunity arises.
Near the end of September we drove down to Oklahoma to spend the weekend with our oldest. There’s nothing like face-to-face time with your college kid to fill your bucket.
A few days later, we hopped on a plane to Rome.
Our 25th anniversary was in May, but we chose to delay the celebration for a little bit. We couldn’t quite fit it in between high school graduation, moving a kid out of a dorm and into a house, and packing up another kid for college.
I read somewhere that it’s a good idea to take a trip with your spouse soon after your youngest child leaves home. Thankfully we took it to heart, and planned our anniversary trip for the end of September/early October.
We traveled across Italy together, just the two of us. This anniversary vacation also quickly became our “congrats-on-raising-two-incredible-kids” celebration. We talked a lot about the past two decades and truly had moments of wonder at God’s amazing grace, realizing how He faithfully walked us through all those years of raising kids.
If you’re approaching the empty nest phase, I highly recommend taking a trip together soon after that youngest kid leaves home. It can be Italy, Branson, or the next town over. Doesn’t matter. Just take some time away to reconnect and remember why you started this journey together in the first place. It’s quite a full-circle experience.
Here are a few photos I took to attempt to capture the beauty of this country, and it was so hard to choose which ones to post! There are over 700 more on my camera roll, so you’re welcome for the restraint.
After almost two weeks in Italy, we arrived home and spent the next five days trying to convince our bodies that it wasn’t actually time to get up at 2am. Jet lag was a small price to pay for the trip of a lifetime.
Six days later, we boarded another plane and flew to Arizona where we visited our youngest at school for family weekend. There’s something about that very first visit after your child leaves home. She somehow seemed so much older and wiser. Again, my bucket was overflowing with gratitude to spend some in-person time with her.
No one really tells you that the same kids you engage in battles with over homework and cleaning the bathroom sink will turn out to be incredible, hilarious, brilliant young adults. Unfortunately, once they become super cool amazing humans that you love spending time with, they usually happen to live somewhere else.
In summary, we’ve spent the early weeks of our new empty nest season traveling the world and visiting our kids. I realize this isn’t how it will always be, but it’s not a bad way to ease in.