My Dog Needs a Benadryl
and other things I'm noticing in midlife
It has been an interesting week.
Sometimes, the process of grieving life’s seasons hits extra hard. The emotions are non-linear and unpredictable. (My least favorite of all the adjectives.)
I’ve heard all the advice about enjoying the season we’re in without longing for the past. But I do think it’s part of the process to ocassionally grieve what once was.
Having adult kids is truly so much fun! But for me, that doesn’t mean waves of nostalgia don’t hit out of nowhere, like a bad case of strep throat, causing a sudden pain I didn’t ask for while wishing I had appreciated the moments when I felt great.
I feel like no one really talks about this, and it seems silly even saying it outloud. Of course I’m thrilled my kids are thriving, adulting like champs, and making their way in the world. But I also sometimes grieve those slow mornings when they’d eat cereal in their princess nightgowns, nothing on the day’s schedule except a playdate and a nap.
The reality is, seasons change, and there is joy and beauty (and sometimes, humor) to be found in all of them! And I’ve definitely been finding that to be true in this particular new-to-me season.
Here are some recent observations:
1. My Dog Needs a Benadryl
I used to spend a considerable amount of energy focusing on my kids’ current health status. From constipation to headaches, I closely monitored any health related concerns. The older my kids got, common childhood illnesses became a distant memory. Eventually they reached an age where they’d just get their own Tylenol without even notifying me.
This past week, our dog, Lucy, got the sniffles. It sounded like she needed to blow her nose. I called the vet, who suggested I give her some Benadryl to see if that helped.
Then things got real interesting when I looked at her one afternoon and realized I actually needed to wipe her nose. My 12-year-old dog’s nose was as snotty as any toddler you’ve ever seen.
I haven’t wiped a nose since George W. Bush was in office. Now I’m back to wiping noses? Is this my future?
Also, has my dog needed a Benadryl in the past, but I was too consumed with the busyness of working full time and raising kids and doing 18 loads of laundry a week to notice her congested nose?
She won’t tell me, but I feel like I know the answer.
2. Date Night Has Evolved
My husband and I try to make date night a priority. We choose a weeknight to go to a favorite dinner spot and reconnect. This week, we tried a new restaurant. This was quite a win for someone like me who is risk-averse and avoids disappointment at all costs.
After dinner, my husband mentioned he’d like to shop for some new clothes. This is how we found ourselves at Costco at 7:50 pm on a Monday night looking for new closet staples. And being successful.
I freely admit that some of my favorite clothing items came from Costco. What’s not to love about a store that can simultaneously offer you a cheese flight, a hot tub, and Banana Republic chinos??
3. You’ll Never Regret Doing the Thing
My sister came to visit last week and we continued what has become one of my favorite traditions. We are 5 years apart in age, which didn’t translate well as we bickered our way through childhood. There was very little overlap in our lives in terms of interests and common experiences. I’ve written about it before, but the one thing we did have in common was our love for New Kids on the Block.
When the group reunited in 2008, we jumped at the chance to get tickets to relive our childhood for a night. It was worth every penny.
Life got busy and we blinked. But by 2017, we managed to pick up the tradition of going to their concerts whenever possible. It requires some planning ahead and commitment. But I’m learning in midlife that you’ll never regret splurging on the experience…or the good seats. I already can’t wait for the next show.
I also learned that I need to get my roots done before an event where many photos will be taken. I’m glad my 2024 self remembered before the concert day arrived.
4. Morning Walks Require Strategy
I love my morning routine, which includes a nice, long walk. The problem is, I have to coordinate my walk around my morning coffee. My route is strategic and must be timed in such a way that I pass by the park restrooms halfway through, because I know I won’t be able to make it home otherwise.
I also have to remember to bring Kleenex. This was not something I needed to consider two decades ago. But now, exercise apparently makes my nose run.
Maybe I should borrow some of my dog’s Benadryl.